When Life Pauses the Journey: What the Last Six Months Taught Me About Planning, Advocacy, and Love
- Janet Williams
- Mar 28
- 3 min read
Over the past six months, I stepped away from parts of my work—not because I wanted to, but because I was called into one of the most sacred roles I’ve ever held.
I became the full-time advocate, decision-maker, and companion for my best friend, Susan.
I served as her Medical Power of Attorney, her Durable Power of Attorney, and now, I continue to walk alongside her story as the authorized agent for her estate.
This wasn’t theoretical.
This wasn’t professional training.
This was real life—messy, emotional, complicated, and at times… overwhelming.
And it changed me.
The Reality Behind the Paperwork
As a care professional, I’ve always encouraged families to “get their documents in order.”
But walking through it personally? It revealed a level of complexity and stress that I don’t think can fully be understood until you live it.
Susan did not have everything in place.
And because of that, simple things became complicated:
Accessing accounts
Managing bills
Communicating with institutions
Navigating legal processes
Ensuring her wishes were honored
Each step required time, persistence, documentation, and emotional energy—often during moments of grief and exhaustion.
What should have been straightforward became layered with uncertainty.
What I Learned (That I Wish Everyone Knew)
1. Documents Are Not Optional
Everyone needs:
Medical Power of Attorney
Durable Power of Attorney
A Will or Estate Plan
Clear beneficiary designations
A list of accounts, passwords, and contacts
Without these, your loved ones are left to piece together your life while trying to process your absence.
2. “We Talked About It” Is Not a Plan
Verbal wishes do not hold weight in legal or medical settings.
If it’s not written, signed, and accessible—it doesn’t exist when it matters most.
3. Timing Matters More Than You Think
There are windows for action:
Before cognitive decline
Before hospitalization
Before crisis
Once those windows close, options become limited—or disappear entirely.
4. Grief + Administration = Overwhelm
Handling logistics after a loss is not just paperwork.
It’s:
Calling institutions repeatedly
Sending documents over and over
Explaining the same story to strangers
Making decisions while your heart is breaking
Planning ahead is one of the greatest gifts you can give the people who will one day carry your story forward.
5. Advocacy Requires Clarity
Even with my background in dementia care and life care management, I found myself navigating systems that required precision, documentation, and persistence.
Now imagine doing that without experience.
Without guidance.
Without support.
Why This Matters to Me—and to StilMee
At StilMee, I often talk about walking the journey with individuals and families.
Over the last six months, I wasn’t just guiding the journey…
I was living it.
And it reaffirmed something I believe deeply:
Preparation is not about expecting the worst. It’s about protecting the people you love.
My Strong Encouragement to You
Please—do not wait.
Do not assume you have time.
Do not assume your family will “figure it out.”
Do not assume things are “simple.”
Take the time now to:
Organize your documents
Have the hard conversations
Write things down clearly
Put a plan in place
A Resource to Help You Get Started
If you’re not sure where to begin, I highly recommend visiting:
It’s a powerful starting point for organizing your thoughts, your plans, and your wishes—before someone else has to do it for you.
A Final Reflection
Caring for Susan in her final chapter was one of the greatest honors of my life.
It was also one of the hardest.
If sharing this experience helps even one family avoid unnecessary stress, confusion, or heartache… then her story continues to make a difference.
And that matters.
With heart, purpose, and continued commitment to your journey,
Janet Williams, CDP, CADDCT, CMC
Founder, StilMee™
The Leader in Dementia Coaching
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